Short Story

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:49:41 -0500

So I also write stories. Tell me if you like this one. Please don’t be offended by the way, I’m really just doing this for fun!

Sgt. Fookinahsum’s Furry Masacare

Sgt. Fookinahsum was the security guard of the government’s main baby ward. He and a recuit, Pvt. Pickle, paced back and forth by the main door while the rain thumped against standard issue helmet. His visor was dripping, and he couldn’t see clearly. “Well, this isn’t exactly exciting” Pvt. Pickle mumbled. “Shut the fuck up, Pickle! I’m to fuckin’ awesome to put up with your crap”, Fookinahsum said through a cigar.

Suddenly he noticed something purple and big dart from the corner of his eye. He couldn’t see it clearly due to the rain. Cautiously, he flicked on his flashlight as he stealthily walked towards where he say the movment. In the ally he say something fuzzy and purple huddled in the corner, the sarge pulled his smg up to his eye. Just then the mass of fur leaped forward and yelled “GIVE ME THE GOODS!”. Out of sheer surprise he released a burst from his weapon. All but one shot hit landed on the creature’s chest. It dropped to the ground with a fleshy thud sound. Sgt. Fookinahsum took a closer look. I mortified look spread across his face as he realized what he just killed. “Furries… oh God. Not furries…”.

Pvt. Pickle stumbled across the corner. “What the hell was THAT?!”. “Your worst nightmare, private,” Fookinahsum responded “and there are more coming, too.” get ready. A horrific cry pierced through the air as countless furries ran towards the two guards. “Ready. Aim. MURDER.” the furry commander shouted, quite strange since they had no weapons. Fookinahsum fired 3 bursts at one costumed freak. They all hit their target, knocking it back and it’s ass. ”Haha! Score one for the baby ward!” Sgt. Fookinahsum shouted. “God DAMN IT! There’s just too much!” Pvt. Pickle paniced, “why are they coming here anyways?”. Sgt. Fookinahsum sighed then responded “You don’t know? They want the babies!” “The BABIES!?” the private yelled. “Of course, its the only way they can multiply. They can’t reproduce in the costumes so they have to kidnap en masse.” He explained.

Sgt. Fookinahsum grabbed kerosene and a box of matches, he stabbed the can and through it into the crowd. It soaked the attackers. He ripped his shirt off and lit a match, the sarge threw it into the crowd setting multiple furries a blaze. “Looks like you guys are… on fire! How you like those witty one liners, FREAKS?” There were about ten furfags left after the fires died down. Sgt. Fookinahsum jumped down on one and started beating the face right of his costume while he yelled “I’M FUCKING AWESOME!”. He grabbed one by the neck and threw him into two others who were approaching him. He stomped their stomachs in while they were incappitated. “That takes care of five of ‘em” he thought. Suddenly one grabbed Pvt. Pickle and tried to force a mask on him. “GET AWAY FROM MY SON!” Sargent said when he noticed him struggling. Suddenly the private stopped, and looking at Fookinahsum said “Your son?”. “No time to explain! Fall back into the baby ward and MAN THE HARPOONS!”. They did and they all lived happily ever after. Except the furries, ‘cuz nobody likes them. THE END.

"Be nice and have adventures"

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:34:52 -0500

“Be nice and have adventures”

- PyBro, creator of PyBro’s Big Adventure Blogical

Cracked, my favorite blog ever! (That's not mine)

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:25:11 -0500

Cracked, my favorite blog ever! (That's not mine):

My writing style is heavily influenced by these guys. Seriously, check them out!

Shit I Get For Reading on my Free Time in School

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:22:00 -0500

So I’ve been reading Jurassic Park, and The Clone Republic. Amazing books by the way. Both were suggested by my best friend. So I decided I could get some reading done during the free time I have after lunch in school. Sounds peaceful, maybe even relaxing. Right? WRONG!

I learned people will not get off your case for leisure reading. First three people to talk to me after lunch all noticed I was reading. These are their stupid questions.

1. What book is that!?! (after reading aloud the cover)

2. Are you in trouble!?! No I just like to read

3. Are you allergic to outside?!? (Somebody seriously asked this question)

Moral of the story? Don’t let annoying people find out you can read. Also I’m being pretty harsh on my classmates. I mean, they’re not really that bad, they just hate reading. A LOT.

ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:10:37 -0500

Dinosaurs fo sho lil bot

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